Name Game
Just as one day we will run out of names to describe various
shades of red in lipstick tubes, I imagine housing developers will one day run
out of themed-street names for their new boulevards, avenues and drives. In the
old days, streets were named after presidents, types of trees, or were given
numbers –Lincoln Avenue, Sycamore Drive and 2nd Street.
These days, developers seem compelled to create wonderlands
from tangles of streets named after berries, fruits and stones. Boysenberry,
Huckleberry, Blueberry / Plum, Peach, Cherry / Stonemaster, Millstone,
Stonebridge. My brain doesn’t work that way. All I remember is that to get to
Marie’s house, I’m supposed to turn right on some street called
Stone-something. I’m a scientist. Why can’t they make a neighborhood with
medical or sciency street names that are easier to remember? Who could forget
to make the turn onto Pulmonary Edema from Congestive Heart Failure Avenue? And
let’s not forget that cute little park by Kidney Stone Way. During rush hour
you can get there faster if you take the Coronary By Pass and follow the
shortcut onto Diarrhea Drive. Why am I not consulted on these matters?
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